I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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