i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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