don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
