is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
