i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
