We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
