covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
