I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
