if you like me you must not know who I am
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
