I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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