butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
This girl is more easily done than said...
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
