sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
