if you like me you must not know who I am
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
