but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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