you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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