Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
