Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
