My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
