he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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