piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
