My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
