btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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