oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize