hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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