Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
