come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
