let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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