respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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