just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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