I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
