you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
