he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
