Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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