her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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