loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
high people should be assigned attendants
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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