How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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