You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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