if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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