Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize