I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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