at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
