What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
