Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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