Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Im part way to drunk.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
