bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
