haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize