I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
