If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Randomize
