My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize