A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
