she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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