Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
