uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
