is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
