Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
