i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
