I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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